


It's Called a Hustle, Sweetheart

by gluupor



Series: Andreil Week 2018 [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe, Andreil Week 2018, Conman Neil, Cop Kevin, DMV worker Andrew, Humor, Inspired by Zootopia (2016), M/M, Prompt: DMV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-05-31 08:17:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15115445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gluupor/pseuds/gluupor
Summary: "We need to find out who owns this license plate, but I don't have access to the police database yet," said Kevin."Relax," said Neil. "I know a guy at the DMV."





	It's Called a Hustle, Sweetheart

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on [the sloth scene from Zootopia](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0woPde7OE1k). Technically all the characters are human, but feel free to imagine that Neil is a smug fox and Kevin is an excitable bunny. Prompt: DMV.

Andrew finished his third game of Spider Solitaire and sighed deeply. His supervisor would probably eventually notice that he was slacking off if he spent too much time between clients, so he reached out and hit the button to advance the number display. Slowly he whirled in his chair to see the new number, and then turned back to the room at large.

"Two four six," he said, despite the fact that a smiling woman was already waiting at his desk expectantly. "Two four six."

"That's me!" the woman said, pushing forward a torn piece of paper with 246 written on it. She was bubbly, Andrew absently noticed. Life hadn't worn her down yet. Well, she'd learn soon enough.

"What can I do for you, today?" Andrew said slowly, sounding dead inside.

"I need to renew my license sticker," she said perkily, rummaging around in her purse. "I have the completed paperwork, and my vehicle registration, and my licence," she continued, handing over the documents.

"Alright," said Andrew, and turned to his computer, clicking on the correct icon and waiting twenty seconds for it to load. He always worked as slowly as possible in order to minimize the number of people he had to speak with every day, and his ancient computer always gave him a hand by taking forever to load.

He started filling out the correct form. "Do you have proof of insurance?" he asked.

"What?"

"Proof of auto insurance. You need it to renew the sticker."

"Where does it say that?" the woman demanded.

Andrew pointed to the tiny print on the back of the form she'd filled out.

"I keep it in my car," she said, sounding a little panicked now. "It's just outside. I can go get it and be back here in two minutes."

"I'm afraid that if you leave the building you'll have to take another number to rejoin the queue," he said.

"No!" she gasped. "I’ve already been waiting for _two hours_. Just hold on, I'll be _right back_."

He shrugged. "Nothing I can do," he said. This would teach her to be happy at the DMV.

She pleaded her case for another minute or so, before huffing angrily and giving up in the face of Andrew's blank indifference. Andrew opened up a new game of Spider Solitaire as she stormed away.

He was only part way through his second game when someone approached his counter.

"You'll have to wait for your number to be called," he said without looking up.

"Andrew, hi," said a very familiar voice.

He'd met Neil Josten about six months ago when the con-man had been talking about fake license plates to his friend at a bar. Andrew had overheard him, corrected him, and answered his ensuing questions. He'd then given him some tips about how to make his license plate as authentic as possible in order to fool the cops. Neil had bought him drinks to thank him for his help which had somehow ended up with the two of them going out for dinner. They'd been doing something similar to dating ever since. Andrew was waiting for everything to go to hell because good things didn't happen to him, but Neil kept showing up and smiling at him like a goddamn beautiful asshole.

Neil was smiling now, incredibly smugly. He was standing on the other side of Andrew's desk next to a tall, dour looking man. A couple times, when they'd been out, Neil had used Andrew as a shill for a con; Andrew could tell that something similar was happening now.

"Neil," he said. "How are you?"

"Fine, thanks," said Neil. He elbowed the man next to him. "Flash your badge, Hot Stuff, before everyone lynches us for skipping the line."

The man pulled out a police officer's badge, brandishing it enough that the increasingly angry looking people in the waiting area could see it.

"Andrew, I'd like you to meet my friend…" Neil trailed off and turned to the man beside him. "Well, shucks, darlin', I forgot your name."

"No you didn't," grumbled the police officer. "And stop calling me darling." He turned to Andrew. "Officer Kevin Day," he introduced himself. "I was hoping you could-"

"Kevin here is a meter maid," interrupted Neil, "but he's pretending he's a real cop."

"I _am_ a real cop," huffed Kevin. "I just don't have my computer access yet."

"How can I help you," said Andrew deliberately slowly. He'd cottoned on to the fact that Neil was trying to frustrate this man. Neil could be plenty frustrating on his own, but Andrew would play along.

"I was wondering if you-"

"Today," continued Andrew, and then paused.

Kevin took a deep breath. "I was wondering-"

"Kevin?" finished Andrew.

Kevin waited, seeing if Andrew would go on. When he didn't, he launched into his question. "I was wondering if you could run a plate for me? We're in a really big hurry."

"I can," confirmed Andrew and continued to watch Kevin.

After a couple beats, Kevin spoke again. "...Will you?"

"You will owe me."

"Of cou-"

"One."

Neil's smile was very self-satisfied as Kevin twitched and tried again, "Of course."

Andrew clicked on the program to search for license plate numbers on his computer and waited for it to open. "What is the plate."

"29TH-"

"Number?"

Kevin balled his fists in frustration and breathed out slowly. "29THD03," he said in a tight voice.

"2," repeated Andrew, typing the number with one finger. He looked up expectantly.

"9THD03."

"9," said Andrew. He waited a couple seconds, before typing the next digit. "T."

"HD03," said Kevin, sounding incredibly impatient.

"H."

"D03."

"D."

"03."

"Zero."

"Hey, Andrew," Neil broke in as Andrew moved his finger towards the '3' key. "Do you want to hear a joke?"

"No!" gasped Kevin.

Andrew looked at Neil. "You know I don't have a sense of humour," he said.

"Aw, come on," cajoled Neil. "It's a good one."

"No, stop it," said Kevin.

"I will listen to it," said Andrew after careful consideration, "if you want to tell it to me."

"What do you call a camel with three humps?" asked Neil, completely ignoring Kevin's increasingly frustrated interjections.

"Hmmm," said Andrew, pretending to think. "I don't know. What do you call a camel with three humps?"

Neil grinned. "Wait for it…" he said. "Pregnant!"

"Ha!" said Kevin with false cheer. "Hilarious! Can we get back to the plate?"

"That was a terrible joke," Andrew said.

"You couldn't tell a better one," argued Neil.

"Hey, Andrew," said Renee, the woman who manned the booth next to him. "I have a better joke, do you want to hear it?" She smiled at him, the twinkle in her eye indicating that she'd been eavesdropping.

"I do!" said Neil with enthusiasm.

"Argh!" groaned Kevin, pulling at his hair in distress and smacking his head on the counter.

* * *

Several months later, Kevin was sitting in his patrol car thinking about how he could convince Neil to join the police force with him. The con-man had ended up being instrumental in helping Kevin solve the string of abductions he'd been unofficially investigating, leading to Kevin's promotion. However, Neil had steadfastly refused to join the force, much to Kevin's annoyance. He would just have to convince him; it wouldn't do for a respected police officer like himself to have a criminal for a friend.

Kevin was thrown out of these thoughts by a Maserati blowing past him at twice the legal speed limit while weaving in and out of traffic. He flipped on his siren and lights and took off in pursuit.

Thankfully, the driver pulled over to the side of the road instead of leading Kevin on an unwanted chase.

"Do you know how fast you were going?" he asked as he strode up beside the car.

"Hey Hot Stuff," said a familiar voice.

Kevin leaned down to look in the car. Neil was leaning over the gear shift from the passenger side, grinning at him. "You remember my boyfriend, Andrew, right?"

Kevin's gaze slid to the driver, the blond man familiar from the most frustrating experience he'd ever had at the DMV (which was saying a lot. It was the _DMV_. He was pretty sure it was designed to be frustrating).

"So you don’t do _everything_  slowly?" he said sarcastically.

Andrew looked at him coolly. "If I recall correctly," he said slowly, "you owe me one."

**Author's Note:**

> I can be found on tumblr [@gluupor](http://gluupor.tumblr.com).


End file.
